I help you identify the subtle differences, and provide tips on how to stay focused on achieving your goals.
I would much rather be spending my time and effort into seeking (and obtaining) success.
Wouldn't you?
In today's "modern" society we are born and bred to cherish that which we "own", resulting in success being widely measured by the amount of "things" or "stuff" we have.
So, if success is measured by what we own, then the more we own, the more successful we are (great news for hoarders, right? Not quite)
Now, when you are first starting out, and you have nothing (or very little), setting goals and striving to achieve things that you desire such as a new house, a new car, or expensive clothes & accessories, can be very motivating.
Especially as you receive the positive feedback after you work hard, get paid, and purchase these "things" that make you feel good.
However, what you are really doing is "buying" your success.
The problem with this is that it leads to becoming more risk-averse as you begin to fear losing what you have "earned", which creates a mentality where we are focused on "avoiding failure".
The reason for this?
If the more we own equals how successful we are, then the less we own equals the less successful we are (bad news for minimalists? Not exactly.)
Once you have attached your success to the amount of "things" you own, you also attach failure to losing those same things.
This is one of the reasons for the minimalist movement. To remove the attachment we have to material things, and focus on where true happiness and success comes from.
So, how do you keep focused on "seeking success" instead of dwelling on "avoiding failure"?
The first step is to recognize that these are two completely different states of mind which deliver two completely different sets of results. Now this may seem obvious, but it is a very important distinction to have to make, as this helps identify when you are slipping out of a "seeking success" mindset and entering a "avoiding failure" mindset.
Seeking Success = Entering the unknown; Always stepping outside your "comfort zone"; Dynamic; Constantly changing; Exciting; Better results; Improving.
Avoiding Failure = Staying in the known; Being comfortable; Static; Staying the same; Same results; Complacency. And if you want to avoid failure, you MUST prevent complacency
The second step, is to define what YOUR definition of success is.
One of the best methods I coach others on to define their success, and also use regularly myself, is to imagine your ideal self in 3, 5, and 10 years. "What I am doing? Where am I living? What is making me happy? What would I regret?
Spending time to reflect on questions like these, and getting clear on who you want to be (not what you want to buy) will help you with the clarity needed to set and achieve the right goals.
Final Thoughts
If we do not take the time to really identify "what is success" to us, then your definition of success is likely to become someone else's. Not only do you run the risk of becoming risk-averse and trying to avoid failure, but you also end up realizing that you spent the last 10 year not working towards what makes YOU happy.
There's no need to rush the process of defining your own success, as what is successful for one person could be very different then what is successful for another. However, one thing is clear: Although it is rewarding (and sometimes well deserved) to treat yourself to something to celebrate a win, success is not the accumulation of "things".
Success is something that comes from within.
Success is the positive internal dialogue you have with yourself when YOU accomplish something YOU set out to do.
About Lee
My mission is to create a better world for tomorrow by helping others become the best versions of themselves, today. Through coaching, public speaking, blogging and writing I hope to connect with as many people as possible, and help them achieve their full potential.
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